loenah
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Gryffindor Student
This will do for now;)
Posts: 101
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Post by loenah on Aug 4, 2005 22:03:26 GMT
Loenah had reached the tower without being seen, she stood at the door catching her breath, not sure about the rules of leaving the castle after dark, but it was after all the best time to go to the astronomy tower, she hoped it would be empty, but something told her she wouldn't have much time to herself, as she had told herself, night was the best time for astronomy. She slowly pushed open the door and found a dark corner with a good view and sat down. She pulled her necklace out of her top and took it off, playing with the trinket on the chain between her fingers, her fingers twicthed as she felt the sharpness and she closed her hand over the object, covering her head with her arms and resting it on her knees. She had to find a way to fight this, to kill all her temptations, all her urges, she had to. She knew she couldn't go on like this, she couldn't even remember why she did it, but that didn't stop her. She looked up and blinked the tears away, not caring about the make up, but staring desperately at the stars, begging for a falling star to show itself, and make her feel less alone, if anything as perfect as stars could fall, surely it was ok for her to fall. She swallowed and looked back at her strippy arm warmers. She put the necklace into her right hand and pulled the left armwarmer up. She stared at the scars and shook her head. She had to fight it, she had too, new place, new life, new start, don't ruin it now. The necklace moved closer. please, her head screamed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she ran the small object over her skin. She felt the relaxation hit, and her body tingled. She sighed shakily and put the necklace back around her neck, tucking it into her shirt sne pulled the armwarmer back over her arm and stared at the stars.
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loenah
New Member
Gryffindor Student
This will do for now;)
Posts: 101
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Post by loenah on Aug 6, 2005 10:34:40 GMT
Loenah awoke with a slight start, it was daylight now and she looked around at the empty tower. She looked down at her arm and remembered the night before. Shivers ran down her spin as she hugged her arm to her chest. She looked up at the sky and wondered whether the hospital wing was still crowded with people who were suffering in the battle that had started, that she had no idea about. She looked at her arm, the line of blood stained her armwarmer and she decided she probably didn't need to go to the hospital wing anyway. So she just sat against the wall, looking up at the blue sky.
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Ondrea
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Faerie (Slytherin)
Posts: 720
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Post by Ondrea on Aug 7, 2005 14:07:14 GMT
Ondrea was walking the corridors early in the morning, she wanted to get a break, take a breath, sometime to herself would do the trick. However her intention was to go to the lake, but her feet were so used to going to the astronomy towers, when she needed to clear her mind, that she found herself, approaching the tower. Realizing this, she shrugged, and continued to the tallest tower.
When she reached the insides, her blue eyes, rested upon a girl, who had blood stained upon her wrist. She was clearly in a depressed state, or she was a self-injurer, who felt the need to do those things on a regular basis. Ondrea walked into the middle of the room, and layed down, on the floor, letting out a loud yawn. Rubbing her eyes a bit, she sat silently in the middle of the room. Ondrea was not wanting to intrude on anyones privacy, but if they wanted someone to talk to, then she would be there for them; so she waited to see if the other girl would speak to her.
"I am not gonna let you kill yourself, if that is what you are trying to do." Ondrea muttered sternly under her breath.
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loenah
New Member
Gryffindor Student
This will do for now;)
Posts: 101
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Post by loenah on Aug 8, 2005 12:49:21 GMT
Loenah heard someone come into the tower, heard them mutter and turned the armwarmer around. Stupid idoit, should have done that as soon as you woke up. She looked to see who it was and then looked away. She wasn't trying to kill herself, she never had, and never will. She didn't want to die. She shook her head. "I don't want to kill myself." She whispered, not knowing whether the other girl could hear her or not. She sighed and looked back at the sky. It was big enough that she could get lost in, loose herself, loose her memories, forget everything she wanted to, forget her depression, forget everything.
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Ondrea
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Faerie (Slytherin)
Posts: 720
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Post by Ondrea on Aug 15, 2005 3:03:38 GMT
Ondrea looked the girl up and down, as if she was going to find the truth written upon her body but nope, she sighed, "So you just hurt yourself, as if that is any better." Ondrea said, as she began to lay down on the ground.
"By the way I am Ondrea." she said quietly, her face blank, no emotion or feeling able to seep through.
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loenah
New Member
Gryffindor Student
This will do for now;)
Posts: 101
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Post by loenah on Aug 15, 2005 6:44:35 GMT
"Have you ever met anyone who did it before?" Loenah asked, it was better to ask then to go off on a spoll of thoguhts and opinions and excuses, when it was possible the girl already knew the motivations behind what Loenah did, it was, as she had discovered, alarmingly common in muggles, but she wasn't in the world of muggles anymore, maybe witches and wizards didn't hurt themselves to cope with their pain, maybe they had some miracle cure. she didn't look at the girl, but remained leaning lazily against the wall, looking up to the sky.
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Ondrea
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Faerie (Slytherin)
Posts: 720
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Post by Ondrea on Aug 15, 2005 22:29:33 GMT
Ondrea looked at the girl, "Tuns of people, I know people who have killed themselves, and I know exactly how it is..." Ondrea trailed off, "You see lots of things, if you lived where I lived." she whispered quietly.
Looking at the girl, who seemed to be ashamed of her actions, she said, "If it is shameful, then we shouldn't be doing it, right?"
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loenah
New Member
Gryffindor Student
This will do for now;)
Posts: 101
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Post by loenah on Aug 16, 2005 10:42:12 GMT
"It's not that it's shameful." Loenah muttered. "It's just a way to deal." She whispered and shrugged. "So, have you ever done it?" She didn't want to push anything, but she figured the girl would leave if she didn't want to answer anything, and Loenah was used to that.
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Ondrea
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Faerie (Slytherin)
Posts: 720
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Post by Ondrea on Aug 16, 2005 18:33:59 GMT
"Well if you hide what you are doing, I think that is pretty much because you are ashamed, are you know it isn't neccisarily the right thing to do." Ondrea said, "Even if you think it is the right way to deal with your stress or pain."
Ondrea looked away, "Well that was pretty straight up." she said after the girl had asked her if she had done it, "And is that any of your business. I know that this isn't exactly mine, but I caught you in the act, so it kind of was made mine... you know."
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loenah
New Member
Gryffindor Student
This will do for now;)
Posts: 101
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Post by loenah on Aug 16, 2005 20:08:46 GMT
"I hide it so people don't ask questions, so that people don't..." She stopped before finishing her sentence out loud. So people don't get hurt by me. Loenah didn't have anything to say, no, it wasn't her business whether the girl cut herself, and yes it wasn't any of the girls' business that she did it, except she had gotten sloppy and let herself get caught. She wanted to get up and walk away, but it wasn't the right way to leave the conversation. "I know it's not the right way to do it." She said finally. "I know whether you do it is none of my business, and you're right, this is none of your's." She added. "Sorry." She finished in a whisper.
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Ondrea
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Faerie (Slytherin)
Posts: 720
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Post by Ondrea on Aug 17, 2005 0:22:59 GMT
"The thing is, me running into you while you were just doing it, makes it my business, honestly you can't expect to just ignore what you are doing, pretend that everything is fine and dandy." Ondrea said, "I know I sound like a real b**** but this is a serious matter, and I can't let it go, thinking that it is not."
"A good way to deal with your frustration and stress, is either talking about it, which I personally find very uncomfortable, but others don't, or keeping a dieary. If you are into music, you could write songs about what you feel like, and things like that, ways that don't involve hurting yourself, or anyone else for that matter."
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loenah
New Member
Gryffindor Student
This will do for now;)
Posts: 101
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Post by loenah on Aug 17, 2005 2:40:02 GMT
"I already keep a diary, write songs, stories, poems and all that stuff. Sometimes, its just not enough. And like you, talknig about it is uncomfortable for me." She said.
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Ondrea
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Faerie (Slytherin)
Posts: 720
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Post by Ondrea on Aug 17, 2005 6:37:38 GMT
"Well, you are very similiar to me then, and sadly, I think I just might not have any more ideas." Ondrea said, but she had to get the girl not to do these stupid things, "Have youi tried listening to songs that really relate to you, and turning the music up so loud, and just singing at the top of your lungs to them, or screaming as the music plays, so no one can hear you? Sometimes it gets some of the frustration away."
"Oh and when you are stress, have a warm bubble bath, it calms the soul." she said quietly, hoping that some of these things would come in handy.
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loenah
New Member
Gryffindor Student
This will do for now;)
Posts: 101
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Post by loenah on Aug 17, 2005 7:45:12 GMT
"I fight it when i want to." Loenah smiled weakly, slowly starting to get used to the girl's concern. Ondrea she had said her name was, had Loenah even replied to her? She couldn't remember. "My name is Loenah, if i haven't already told you." She said, she paused. "Sometimes, i just don't feel like fighting it. It doesn't happen very often anymore." She sighed and looked out the window.
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Ondrea
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Faerie (Slytherin)
Posts: 720
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Post by Ondrea on Aug 17, 2005 16:55:15 GMT
"Yah I know what you mean, but sometimes we have to over-come these things. We have to be strong." Ondrea said, "And I don't believe you did mention your name before, I am very happy we met Loenah."
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