At Unease

[Hikalyn Sarello]

OOC: Invite only, sorry loves.

IC: Since she had finally come to her resolution--about a year too late, in her mind--to leave Magic Horizons, she'd managed to shake off most of the restless discontent that had been plaguing her of late. It was a state of mind that she knew she couldn't cling to indefinitely, but for the moment, she could remain content in the knowledge that she wouldn't have to.

When she had found herself lying awake tonight, though, staring at the shadow-shrouded ceiling of the Slytherin common room, that ever-insistent feeling of restlessness was back fourfold.

Giving up hope of falling asleep tonight, Kalyn released a slight sigh, pulling herself into a sitting position. Shedding her pajamas in favour of jeans and a t-shirt, she padded quietly from the dorm, slipped from the dungeon that was the Slytherin commons, and started trekking through the many halls and stairways of the school, making her way from the building's lowest point to its highest.

She paused in the doorway to the Astronomy Tower, her gaze drifting about the window-adorned circular room as if searching for something. Making her way slowly across the room's stone diameter, she pulled open the sliding door and stepped out onto the balcony, coming forward to lean against the iron railing. Her eyes scanned the grounds without really realizing what she was doing, as if searching for some visible sign of the disquiet she felt. There was none.

Loosing a frustrated breath, she turned her back on the beautiful, scenic view of the grounds, as if by shutting out the sight of them, she could somehow shut out her thoughts as well.

[Ferrion]

That night Ferrion was feeling the same restless unease. Lying on the bed in the hospital wing, staring up at the stone ceiling only brought up more questions and less answers for every two that seemed to sprout from every one he shut away with an answer he made up to ease his mind. A blank expression was all that was on his face when he got up off of the bed and yawned, stretching both arms into the air. White feathered wings appeared from his back, reaching towards the heavens.

Ferrion had to get out before he suffocated in the silence of this place. The wings vanished in a cloud of feathers that drifted carelessly to the floor as he walked towards the large doors, pulling one open just enough for his skinny frame to squeeze through and shut it quietly behind him. The halls were all placed perfectly into his memory as he wandered, knowing exactly where he was and where he was going as he travelled along.

A small conversation here and there with a painting as he walked along, waving and smiling to the people that held them who were still awake. Some paintings paid him no mind, some captivated by the strange glow around him, others treating him like a stray friendly student on their way to the commons for rest. He didn't mind, it was still some form of small company that he never really had.

It was only when he was halfway up the stairs to the astronomy tower when Ferrion realised where he had decided to go. His bare feet made no noise against the cold stone as he traveled, looking around in curiosity why he was led here. Maybe he had just taken a strange turn, or maybe he felt like admiring the stars tonight.

Upon reaching the top stair, Ferrion stopped and looked around at the place. He inhaled the fresh scent of the cold night air, eyes drifting to the ceiling. It took him a few moments to notice the prefect standing, back to the railing, on the balcony above him. Blinking, he felt an air of frustration loom around the girl, and he hesitated a moment. "I'm... sorry," he bowed, lifting himself back up withing mere moments. "Am I intruding? If so, I'll gladly take my leave..." his eyes glided over to the doorway where he came. There was something about this girl what tugged at his clouded memories from before he had died, but he couldn't remember.

[Hikalyn Sarello]

She might have been staring directly at him, but so lost was she in her own thoughts which refused to quiet down, that at first she didn't see the figure that stood uncertainly in the Astronomy Tower, surrounded by aura of faint evanescence. It wasn't until he spoke, in a voice that betrayed the same insecurity that his posture, that the fog lifted from her amythest eyes and her gaze narrowed to focus on the speaker. For just an instant, she studied him intently, as if there was something familiar about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on. For a long moment, her face was expressionless. Then, in those keen purple orbs, a spark of dawning recognition.

She was too well-schooled to let the shock show on her face, but some things showed emotion just as well. Every muscle in her body stiffened. Her hair was trying to stand on end.

In that moment, someone could have smacked her with a hammer right between the eyes, and like as not, she wouldn't have even felt the blow.

"No," she said suddenly, recovering her voice--even if it was so hoarse that it sounded like it had long been disused. Irritated with herself for showing so much, she cleared her throat and tried again, this time sounding much more herself. Shaken as she was, she made herself give him a smile to go along with the words. "No, it's alright. Don't leave on my account." She hesitated a long moment before adding in a voice so quiet that it was barely audible even to her, "It's Ferrion, right?"

She knew it was. Even aside from what her eyes told her, it was something she simply knew. There were some truths that could simply be felt after, a certain point. She thought she might have recognized him even had he appeared completely different. The thought brought a somewhat bitter smile to her lips before she managed to wipe her expression clear. After all, it had happened once before, hadn't it?

A part of her wished that he would act upon his offer. Simply turn around and walk away. His unexpected presence here stirred up memories that she had thought safely buried, memories that if she hadn't exactly managed to move past, at least she had succeeded in forgetting. Until now. Whatever his sudden appearance here meant, that part of her that wished he would simply go away was quite firmly convinced that she wanted nothing to do with it.

But she didn't have a choice. Not now.

She couldn't just let him walk away. Events were geared, the flame had been put to the wick, and they would keep rolling no matter what she had to say about the matter. She had to know. It was better than being left to wonder. And even, if she suspected, that there was something far bigger going on than simply the return of an old friend, an old enemy, she knew there was no way she would ever be able to bring herself to simply sit on the sidelines and watch. She hated that part of herself, sometimes.

She raised her purple eyes to meet his silver ones, and waited for him to break the fragile, humming silence.

[Ferrion]

Ferrion hesitated at the mention of his own name, staring up at the woman in wonder. How did she know who he was? Thoughts tugged on the corners of his consciousness, and he swallowed in an effort to get rid of them; clear his mind of the voices that plagued it. Lowering his head just a touch, he looked into Kalyn'd amethyst eyes.

"... Yes, you are correct," he said in response to the prefect, drawing closer in an attempt to see her face. "May I inquire your name, m'lady?" Polite as ever, his soft angelic voice was hiding his true emotions. It was a shock that anyone remembered him from when he was still here, still alive. Looking down at himself, he couldn't really tell if he was a creation of life after death, so to speak if there is any.

Walking up the stairs cautiously, he made it to the balcony where Hikalyn was standing upon. Close enough to see her face, he squinted just a little. Her face gave him an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia, causing his stomach to turn as he stared at the prefect.

I know her, the want to escape this whole thing surfaced once more, and he almost turned around to start running. He just inhaled deeply, arms behind him as he fiddled with the end of one of his bandages. Why can I not remember...?

Then it struck him. Ferrion's eyes widened just a small amount, something that would hardly be noticed unless you were paying close attention to his face. Hikalyn. The friend of Meriel's that had saved his life over and over again. A face that watched as he died, helpless to stop it. Hikalyn.

Visibly his entire body seemed to choke, muscles tightening, wincing, head twitching just a little downwards as the memories hit him. How could he have forgotten? Someone that had cared about whether he lived or died was standing in front of him, and he didn't even remember her. She remembered him.

"I must apologise," he straightened himself out, acting as if it was merely a bad head pain Ferrion had gotten just a few moments ago. "I didn't recongize you from the start. Please forgive me." The voice was as equally soft was before, but almost frail. The small words were quiet, but they seemed to fill the empty room that thirsted for any sound it could grasp and cling to.

[Hikalyn Sarello]

When Ferrion did a double take at her use of his name, staring at her with an expression of wonderment on those painfully familiar features, she nodded to herself. She had suspected as much from the way he addressed her; he didn't remember her. Dear God, but she wanted to run. For a moment, she caught herself thinking of a vaulting leap over the balcony railing, some thirty stories above the ground, as a valid escape.
When he inquired after her name, she didn't reply right away. She instead watched him intently, silently, seeing the struggle on his face much as she was sure it had been visible on hers.

She would have missed the slight widening of his eyes if she hadn't been watching for it, watching for something. After a moment of stunned recognition, she saw that hammer hit him in the same way it had hit her--with more force than any physical blow could manage. Automatically she found herself taking a step forward, towards him, but she checked the movement as soon as she became conscious of it. Distance felt safer. Even if it was simply an illusion, she preferred to be able to latch onto that small bit of security. It was the first time in a long time she had needed any such support.

"That's all right." Her voice came as softly as his had, as if she were afraid to break the frail hush of night. Maybe she was. She was no longer used to being much afraid of anything. "I... I didn't recognize you at first, either."

For the first time, she broke her steady stare, averting her eyes and drawing a deep breath before she returned her gaze to Ferrion's face. "So, what brings you back here?" she asked in a tone of forced casualty, as if she were merely conversing with an old friend who had returned from a long absence. It was just a tad more complicated than that, of course. He had died. She knew he had died.

She had been the one who killed him.

[Ferrion]

Ferrion shifted uncomfortably, his eyes gliding to the night sky. He had noticed Hikalyn take a step closer to him, but hcek herself and keep her distance. It wasn't going to be any different to him if she was standing right in front of him. A hand ran over the collar of his skin-tight sleeveless shirt, the fabric thin and practically weightless as it hugged his curves.

If his memories didn't fail him, by all means, Hikalyn should be the last person he should encounter. Then again, she had no choice but to kill him. Ferrion's lips parted as if he was about to speak, but he stood in silence, admiring the starry sky with cloudy patches here and there.

When Hikalyn asked him the question, a question Ferrion couldn't answer himself, his head lowered a few inches towards the ground, staring at the bottom of the railing. What did bring him back here? the thought seemed to become clear in his silverish-blue eyes as he contemplated an answer to give to Hikalyn.

What are you doing, dear?

The voice that never seemed to go away, haunting him relentlessly. Ferrion didn't frown, despite the strong want to, as he fnally spoke. "I don't understand why I was brought back here," he said honestly, eyes darting to the prefect, but his head didn't move. "Nightmares, you could call it. Someone summoned me here," continuing to play with the bandages on his arms, he seemed lost on how to word his awakening.

You can't be talking about me, can you?

"A voice, calling me," Ferrion must've looked insane as he pointed to his head, tapping it with his two-inch long nail. "It still calls me, and I can't get rid of it. When I do, I'll fade again, to sleep once more for years, maybe. Until I am summoned again." Though this time he was summoned was a most violent one. The only way to put him back to his peaceful sleep was to kill him, send him back to where he belonged. It took someone of great power to summon something like him, and he couldn't understand how it was done.

But he was mostly sure that Hikalyn thought him insane for such an answer.

[Hikalyn Sarello]

Hikalyn watched him for a long moment, holding her silence as she tried to absorb his answer. It sounded crazy. About as crazy, she reminded herself dryly, as a person whom she had seen die--one whom she had killed no less--suddenly making a reappearance, without explanation, in the world of life.

At last she nodded slightly, carefully keeping the turmoil of emotions that she felt roiling just under the surface from showing on her face, in a gesture that meant she accepted the explanation that wasn't really an explanation at all, the explanation that was all he had to give.

If nothing else, his answer had certainly strengthened her thought that there was something going on, building up into a climax of events that she couldn't begin to guess at. She had had to kill him, once. Kill someone who she'd considered a friend. She wondered if, when this grand tapestry of events was rolled out for everyone to see, if she might have to do it again. Or try to, at the least. It had nearly killed her the last time to do it. In more ways than one.

She studied him curiously. "I don't suppose you have any idea what it was that summoned you back," she murmured. It was largely a rhetorical question; she figured that he had told her all he knew already. She waved one hand as if gesturing the inquiry away.

"Whatever it is, I suppose we'll find out eventually," she remarked at last with the slightest of sighs. "Until then..." her voice trailed off for a moment, and then she offered Ferrion a geniune, if rather faint smile. "Welcome back."

[Ferrion]

Ferrion remained silent, letting his arms come to his sides, draped there as he lost himself in silent contemplation. Had he, again, been brought back to only become another's puppet? He chewed on the inside wall of his cheek at the thought. Why was he always the tool for someone else's twisted mind? His eyes slid across the room to gaze at the blackness that enveloped the empty space below the balcony the two stood on.

At Hikalyn's words, words welcoming him back into a world he could've destroyed, a worled he killed an innocent girl, came as a complete surprise to Ferrion. His eyes skirted the surroundings, looking at everything on their way to her figure in front of him. He assumed the welcome was only out of curtesy, and not something she truly meant. The very being that tried to murder her, and ended up laying face-first in the moist grass so many nights ago had returned. A small smile touched his s in response, hiding his real emotions towards the whole meeting inside.

"Thank-you," Ferrion said as he walked, seeming to glide past Hikalyn towards the railing that opened to the outside world. The stars were beautiful tonight. placing both hnads on the metal rail, he tilted his head up and inhaled slowly, eyes open to the heavens as he watched the glittering lights dance in the black abyss above him.

"So," the silence that lasted for a few minutes was broken by Ferrion's quiet, soft voice, blinking for the first time since his eyes had gazed up at the sky. "How's Meriel doing? Is she alright?" Or still alive, the thought echoed in his head, something he wouldn't voice to his murderer. For a bloody past, the two hardly seemed to show anything but a calm friendly face to one another.

OOC: Sorry for the horrid post, I had to kick myself a couple times to get myself to post. *sigh*

[Hikalyn Sarello]

The sudden subject change caused an unexpected pang. She missed Meriel. She missed Cole. Even when they had left for Rome, she had resolved to last out the school year here in London, but it had proved a more onerous task--and a much longer stay--than she'd thought.

Wiping her expression clear of any of the thoughts that she might have inadvertently allowed to cross her features, she hesitated for a moment before following Ferrion to the rail. She rested her hands upon the cool metal, leaning forward, and spoke softly into the night. "Meriel's doing well." A faint, wistful smile turned the corners of her lips upwards. "She and Cole are engaged. They're in Rome, now. They left after..." Her voice trailed off awkwardly. After Amiri had died, she had been about to say. Considering present company, that probably wouldn't be the best way to illustrate the time period. Aside from which, illogical though she knew it was, she couldn't quite shake the guilt she still felt over the death of Meriel's younger sister. She knew there was nothing she could have done to stop it, but still, there was the ever-persistent feeling that some how, she should have.

Suddenly realizing that she had fallen silent, Kalyn picked up where she had left off, first rearranging the smile that had turned bitter and sardonic on her lips. "They left about a year ago," she concluded, her voice dropping to a musing tone that could have been meant for herself as much as him.

[Ferrion]

Noticing out of the corner of his eye, he saw the expression the prefect held at the sudden topic change. With a expression that lacked emotion of any type, the angel looked to the opposite side of him that Hikalyn was on. The question had caused a sense of loneliness in the girl, causing Ferrion to second-guess the topic of conversation he chose.

Hikalyn had come to the rail beside him, him shifting over slightly so he wasn't too close to the girl so she didn't feel uncomfortable. At the mention of the two being engaged, Ferrion gave Hikalyn a ghostly smile, gaze still off focusing on something in the distance. But when she ended in mid-sentence, the smile left at the awkward silence. Raking his nails over a hand that rested against the railing, he looked back to the prefect.

He knew exactly what was to be said at the end of that sentence. The chill from the air that never used to bother the creature began to, eating at the empty space inside of him. He was the one who killed Amiri, and in turn was slaughtered by the prefect herself. At least - he still believed the child to be a prefect. It had been a while since he was here last, so he had no idea if she stayed as one, or went back to being just a simple student.

The bitter expression was replaced with a happy-looking smile, the sentence finished off after a long pause of silence that gripped Ferrion's mind. He nodded, pretending as if he didn't understand what she truly had meant to say. "I see," he whispered into the wind, eyes staring straight a head of him as he thought to himself about the two in Rome.

"Are you still a prefect," Ferrion asked, changing the subject once more in hopes that this time it would cause any surprise hurt for the girl. "Or did your status change?" The voice was tinted with hints of curiosity, and a little bit of a cheerfulness that was hardly noticeable. Though, Hikalyn probably heard it. Depended on whether she was lost in thought, or waiting for a response, or yet another question to arise.

[Hikalyn Sarello]

The silence that hovered between the two until Ferrion at last mustered a reply, one that was almost painful to be a part of in its fragile intensity, lasted far too long. She saw him shift away, ever so slightly, as she approached the edge of the balcony, although she wasn't sure whether the gesture was meant out of consideration to her, or to ease his own discomfort. The thought occured to her that whatever tumultuous emotions she was feeling at this meeting, surely she wasn't alone in experiencing them. Ferrion had to feel about the same way she did.

Strangely enough, that thought was a vaguely reassuring one. And at the same time, not at all.

Kalyn suddenly realized that the position of her hands on the wrought-iron railing had changed, from resting easily, lightly on the cool metal to gripping it so hard that her knuckles were beginning to turn white from the strain of her hold. She hadn't even noticed the pain in her hands. Vexed with herself, she made herself relax. Her hands dropped from the rail entirely, but quickly finding that they had little to do without the wandering metal beneath them, soon returned to their original place.

She was being ridiculous, she told herself firmly. Stranger things had happened. A lie that was too ludicruous to be believed even for a heartbeat, even when the only intended target of the untruth was herself. Certainly, though, there was nothing to be afraid of.

Yet here she was. For the first time in over a year, she felt the first stirrings of the emotion. She remembered what it was to be afraid.

Her relief when Ferrion at last broke the silence was probably palpable--another thing for the usually controlled young woman to berate herself over--even though she was a bit surprised at subject change. She had expected a query on why she wasn't there with them, a question she had heard a thousand times already in recent weeks, even if the words had never been spoken aloud. The only one doing the asking, herself.

She caught the undercurrents in his voice, though, and gave him a sideways glance. A grateful smile, one of the first to break through the blank expression she'd assumed in her struggle to keep her racing thoughts from her face, tugged her lips upward in a faint curve as she comprehended the real reason for the change of topic. "Well, our school's old Head Girl graduated last year," she said carefully. In fact, Kiki had been called in to fill the vacated office of Ministress that Meriel had left behind. It felt strange to keep skirting the incident that was in the forefront of both their minds this way, but she was sure that to say it out would have been worse by tenfold. "And Wilting Rose and Claire asked me to fill the void," she finished, loosing a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding. "I'm the school's Head Girl, now."