Mikayla (back <3)
New Member
Lycan (Slytherin)
doN't dare let yOur mind sliP-L'nightmares nEed not wait for dreAmS anymore to lEt their poison drip
Posts: 173
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Post by Mikayla (back <3) on Sept 24, 2005 2:13:09 GMT
Please tell me what you all think...I wrote this while I was gone these past four days. B R E A K
Don't dare deny This is real No sense to defy The pain that you feel
The warm rush of fear A cold wash of rage Give way to that tear Break out of your cage
Lightening strikes close The approaching storm in your eyes Everything you expose Rips down all the lies
And though you might think They watch you with hate Push to the brink B R E A K-this is your fate. [/i]
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Post by Maí Lé Rosà on Sept 24, 2005 5:35:23 GMT
Metaphorically beautiful; I really like this Mika. ^. ~
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Post by Xailyn Rose on Sept 24, 2005 17:41:12 GMT
Wow, it flows well. I enjoyed it.
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Mikayla (back <3)
New Member
Lycan (Slytherin)
doN't dare let yOur mind sliP-L'nightmares nEed not wait for dreAmS anymore to lEt their poison drip
Posts: 173
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Post by Mikayla (back <3) on Sept 26, 2005 21:03:28 GMT
Thank you both so much ^.^ Its an honor to get such good comments, especially from two such as yourselves
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Post by amy on Sept 26, 2005 22:55:55 GMT
I love it, especially the visuals it gives the reader. Very well written, hun.
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Mikayla (back <3)
New Member
Lycan (Slytherin)
doN't dare let yOur mind sliP-L'nightmares nEed not wait for dreAmS anymore to lEt their poison drip
Posts: 173
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Post by Mikayla (back <3) on Sept 26, 2005 23:17:10 GMT
Thank you ^.^ Truth be told, this is really only the first poem I've ever created...I'm so excited people like it
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Post by amy on Sept 27, 2005 19:55:11 GMT
It's very good for a first poem. Have you got any more? ;D
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Post by Xailyn Rose on Sept 27, 2005 22:45:06 GMT
Aw, thanks Mikayla. Wow, if that is your first poem you ever made - that is defiantly amazing.
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Graf
New Member
Posts: 25
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Post by Graf on Sept 27, 2005 23:11:42 GMT
Hrm, well if you want commentary from a stranger, then you may also color me impressed. 'Twas short, but very catchy.
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Mikayla (back <3)
New Member
Lycan (Slytherin)
doN't dare let yOur mind sliP-L'nightmares nEed not wait for dreAmS anymore to lEt their poison drip
Posts: 173
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Post by Mikayla (back <3) on Sept 27, 2005 23:57:45 GMT
Prof Stevens> Thank you again, and I'll definately try my hand at thinking more up Xailyn> Thank you again, too, and its the honest to God truth. The only other poem I've ever written was for class a few years ago...lemme fish that one up... Ah, here it is: Illusions of Mind Children of light and mind, often make the conclusion, that though they walk blind, what they see is not an illusion.[/i][/center] ^.^ I'm really into the profound Graf> I very much appreciate the commentary from a stranger, and I am so very thankful that you are impressed ^.^
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