Lamenting One's Actions

[Forgoil Halifirien]

Forgoil had left the Hufflepuff Common Room and wrapped his black woolen cloak around his school robes as he left. The walk to the graveyard was meaningless to the boy, his back was still in pain from an unpleasant encounter; an encounter that should near had happened. His mind was distraught; he could think straight. The only things he did see clearly on was the fact that someone had hurt him and that he retaliated; hurting his attacker more than the attacker hurt him.

He passed into the silent realm of the graveyard, and slowly walked about trying to forget what had happened, but he couldn't.

The anger.....the pain......the loss of control

Forgoil had turned into a monster for just 5 minutes, but even that was enough to make the boy hate himself. He should have exerted control over himself; he should have just walked away, but he didn't. Forgoil sank to the ground with his heart aching and his mind in pain. He never could have seen himself do that to anyone, but he still did it.

Hanging his head, Forgoil just sat in the graveyard; his conscious racked with pain and his mind going insane. Slowly, sobs of the pain he carried within him began to break free and sounded throughout the graveyard. The sobs of grief continued to travel on the night breeze and only grew stronger. Forgoil Halifirien was starting to crumble.

[~Persephone~]

Persephone was visiting her mother as she usually did. She tried to come down once a week, but was coming to day instead of tomorrow because of the Quidditch match. The usual bouquet of white roses were in her hands and she laid them down on her mother's resting place. She bowed her head and started to tell her mother of the goings on at MH.
Her long silvery blonde hair fell around her face making sure that no one could see the tears running down her delicate face. She was crying, but silently. She looked up as she heard broken sobs and wiped her own tears away.
She looked around her trying to lock on to the person who was crying and walked towards the sound.
It amazed her to see Forgoil sitting there. She reached out small hand placed it on his shoulder.
"Forgoil..." she said in barely a whisper.

[Forgoil Halifirien]

Like a frightened creature, Forgoil recoiled from Persephone's touch; for he wasn't himself. All he could see was a person, but didn't know whether they meant him harm or came to comfort him. Forgoil crawled away from Persephone until his back was against a tombstone. Forgoil still saw the person as an shadow in the darkness. He repressed a whimper that would have caused for more emotion to leak out of him.

His white-gray hair ruffled about in the wind, and his green-gray eyes seemed to take on a maniacal gleam. Forgoil was turning into the same beast that had injured a boy; an unteachable beast that dwelt within all. It clawed at him from within; wanting to hurt the shadowy figure before him, and end this there and then. Forgoil rose to his feet and was about to take a step toward Persephone when his eyes caught sight of the flowers.

The white roses...so delicate...so beautiful

Forgoil's mind was numbed; the beast within him was subdued for the moment. Gazing blankly at Persephone, Forgoil fell to his knees; his heart wrenching sobs piercing through the night air. His hands gripped his head as if it were about to fragment into a million tiny pieces. Throwing back his head; Forgoil yelled in agony. "I'm sorry Persephone! Forgive me! Please forgive me!".

[~Persephone~]

Persephone was shaken the experience. Forgoil wasn't himself and that worried her.
"It's ok Forgoil, I forgive you." She wasn't sure what to do. If she got closer would he back away again? She decided to take the chance.
"Shh...it's ok..." It was the same thing that she used to calm the little kids that she knew.

[Forgoil Halifirien]

"No; it shouldn't be ok. What I did was never right in the first place. You saw what I did in Hogsmeade! I lost control of myself and couldn't regain it until...I hurt the boy.", said Forgoil; his sobs dying down. Slowly he removed his hands from his head and his confused face stared up at Persephone's.

He still could remember the pain that had ensued when the boy threw him to the ground. The anger that coursed through his body, the pain he had inflicted on the boy, and how he had enjoyed doing it. This wasn't like him to be this violent creature; this Hyde. Forgoil was so confused by the recent events; he didn't know why he had suddenly gone and savagely beat a boy.

Forgoil just stayed where he was; not moving a bit or making a sound. His eyes gazed into those of Persephone and he saw the worry in them; he felt all the worse now for what he had done. No words came from the boy's mouth, but the boy's eyes continued to beg for forgiveness and seemed to ask; why.

[~Persephone~]

Persephone looked deeply into Forgoil's eyes. She read the questions in them.

"Forgoil, it happens when you don't let your anger out. When you let it out a bit at a time, then when things like that won't happen. And now that you've experienced you at your worse you're not going to let it out again. So...it's all going to be ok."

She walked towards her friend again. He was the closest thing she'd ever known to a family and didn't want to lose him.

"You'll never let it happen again. I know that." Her big eyes looked past the questions and into the scared boy's heart. He didn't want to hurt anyone, and he was outraged that he had.

[Forgoil Halifirien]

"But how, Persephone?", pleaded Forgoil, "How can I stop if I don't know what caused it? I have been angry with others before and never acted like this, but now..." Forgoil's words slowly came to a halt. Trying to not look at Persephone, Forgoil quietly muttered, "Lost; so very lost. Why I am lost?"

[~Persephone~]

Persephone's eyes softened. She knew how Forgoil felt. She'd felt that way before.

"Because deep down you do know what caused it. It was being pushed too far too fast. Now you know the enemy within and you can fight it. That's how. You know yourself now, better than you did before. You will find your way back to yourself and you will be stronger."

She looked at him and then looked at her feet.

Because I've been where you are. Everybody has or will be. It just makes us stronger people. Be strong, Forgoil, be strong.