I Would Have Given You All Of My Heart

[†Faith Winters†]

Ooc: Invite only, sorry muffins -pats everyone-

As the sun appeared on the horizon, colors danced across the sky, bleeding together, and reflecting on the tranquil lake. As a gentle, warm breeze drifted by, it carried with it the songs of birds coming from the lighter part of the forest. One would usually find such a morning entirely peaceful. Faith included.

The overly-slender blonde sat by an enormous tree at the lakes edge, sleep had decided to abandon her once again. She wore a baggy pear of black jeans, and a white long-sleeved shirt, along with a pair of black flip-flops, and a pair of dainty sunglasses perched on her nose. Sitting with her feet flat on the ground, Faith had her elbows on her knees, and her forehead was pressed against her palms.

Breathing slowly, calmly, Faith thought over recent, and not so recent, events. Between her legs, straight below where her head was, was a small hole. The slight blonde had dug it at sunset, and she had been staring at it ever since, unsure if she could do this or not.

Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Faith let a few tears roll from her eyes down to the ground, splashing against cold gold. The ring that had left it’s mark on her ring-finger, her engagement ring, was placed inside the hole, just sitting there, all by itself.

Amelia had returned, and Faith could no longer go on the way she was. Punishing herself for Amelia’s death was something she would no longer do, but that didn’t stop her from punishing herself for other things. Things that were not her fault, really.

The image of Serenity in the arms of another had been burned into her mind since her eyes first focused on the scene before her. And since that moment she had been broken. Forever a shadow of who she used to be. But not anymore. When she closed her eyes, she didn’t want to see that picture, she didn‘t want to hurt, most of all, she didn’t want to punish herself anymore. But she couldn’t help it. Couldn’t stop it. As much as she tried.

With one last shaky breath, Faith placed one of her hands over the small pile of dirt beside the hole, and slowly began to move it towards the hole. Dirt slid down the sides of the small aperture, slowly covering the ring, helping Faith in ways she didn’t know it would.

Ooc: ... XDDD The title is retarded!! I only put it because that's what was playing on my computer XDD

[Rayne]

"Tell me exactly what am I supposed to do
Now that I have allowed you to beat me
Do you think that we could play another game
Maybe I could win this time"

[/center]

Music broke through the peaceful morning, blairing from enchanted headphones, purposefully loud. A distinctly feminine voice sung along with the music, lifting with the notes, not caring if anyone's peace was disturbed (XP). And none of the early birds attempted to tell the girl to lower her music, because after the first, who received a warning growl and baring of canines, the others wisely backed away.

"I kind of like the misery you put me through
Darlin' you can trust me completely
If you even try to look the other way
I think that I could kill this time"

[/center]

A head of long, recently-dyed, red curls nodded to the music. Cherry red lips were curved in a confident, even arrogant, smirk. Her lids were covered with a smokey gray shadow, the shifting pink-purple orbs heavily lined with dark purple eyeliner. Swirls of rose and violet colored glitter were trailed in random patterns over her cheekbones and the long column of her neck.

A black mini skirt with pink and purple stitching hugged her hips and thighs, showing off her long legs. A corsetted top of dark pink and pale purple silk clung to her breasts and toned abs, adding to her already fit and curvy figure. Black fishnet gloves with purple lace covered her hands and forearms. Pale rose-coloured Ugs finished her ensemble. A new hair color, a new style, a new start..

"It doesn't really seem I'm getting through to you
Though I see you weeping so sweetly
I think that you might have to take another taste
A little bit of hell this time
Lie to me
Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now
Run for her life in the battle that ends this day
Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now
Run for her life now that she lied to me"

[/center]

Her smirk shifted into a grin, her gaze having fallen on Faith, a hand tugged self-consciously at her reddish-orange curls. Strolling over to her, she stood in front of her, a brow raised in worry. What she could see of the other girl's face was stained with the few tears she'd let fall, and she looked worse than usual (don't kill me). Something other than Amelia and her own death had broken the lycaness' spirit, making her not take care of herself, not really care.

Deciding it'd be best to wait for Faith to speak to her first, she tugged the headphones off her ears, hooking 'em around her neck. Leaving them with the volume as loud as it could go, she swayed with the music, hips and body moving slowly to the rhythm as she waited for Fai-fai (XD) to acknowledge her presence.

"You always wanted people to remember you
To leave your little mark on society
Don't you know your wish is coming true today
Another victim dies tonight
Is she really telling lies again
Doesn't she realize she's in danger"

[†Faith Winters†]

Letting her thoughts steal her from earth once again, Faith stared at the small mound of dirt directly lined with her eyes. Merely moments had passed since she had pushed the dirt over the hole, but it felt like an eternity ago already to Faith. Crystalline gaze focused and unfocused as she drifted from thought to thought, trying to process what it all meant. What anything meant anymore.

Faintly a sound began to ring over the small chirps of the birds, and was growing louder and louder to the blonde lycaness’ ears. Smashing back to reality, Faith frowned slightly, trying to figure out what the sound was. Suddenly realizing that it was music, Faith frowned more; who would be playing music at sunrise?

Vaguely a voice could be heard in the background of the music, and it only took Faith a moment to realize who it was. Letting out a chuckle, Faith turned her gaze upwards, as the person playing the music stopped in front of her. Raising slightly red eyes up to Rayne, Faith put a small grin on her face, “Of course it’s you playing the music, at sunrise… And singing along… who else?” A wide grin stretched over her frail features, causing a small sparkle to ignite in her eyes. It remained for a few moments, but burned out quickly, leaving behind the dull eyes that were there before.

Patting the ground beside her, Faith rose her eyebrows slightly, “Care to join me?” She asked Ray-ray (XP) in a small voice, knowing that despite the loud music, Rayne would be able to hear her.

[Rayne]

"Of course, 'cause I'm the only freak who would be blaring Disturbed this early..." she agreed, flashing a wide grin. But the grin slid from her features, replaced by a frown as Faith raised her face; slightly red eyes confirmed that her cheeks had indeed been tear-stained. Kneeling in front of her, she took Faith's slightly dirty hands in her own, squeezing them gently.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm a fairly good listener.." she said, referring to the reason for her tears. Somehow she suspected that was the other reason for Faith's unhealthy and too-slender state. Not only was she curious as to why she was crying, but over whom.. The thought of some one hurting the Fai-fai made Ray want to take a hammer to that person's skull.

"How do you live without playing the game
Sit on the side and expect to keep sane
Step right up and be a part of the action
Come get a piece of it before it's too late
Take a look around
You can't deny what you see
We're living in a violent society"

[/center]

Placing Faith's hands back where they were, she shifted around until she was sitting next to her, shoulder to shoulder. Lifting a hand she ran it through Faith's hair, letting the strands slip through her fingers in silky waves. Letting her hand fall to land softly on her shoulder, she hugged her close, offering her comfort in what was obviously a hard time for her.

"You really need to start takin' care of yourself, darlin'.." she murmured, her voice lilting with the southern accent she persisted on attaching to her words as of late.

[†Faith Winters†]

Faith returned the grin that was flashed at her, nodding her head in agreement, “Well, that is true,” She said in a playful tone, letting out a small chuckle. Sniffling slightly, Faith lowered her head once more, this time in shame over the state she was in, and the fact that Rayne had to see her this way. “I like your hair, by the way, the color looks good on you,” She stated with a smirk, looking over the girl in front of her quickly.

A Rayne took her hands, Faith put on a small, grateful smile, squeezing the other girls hands back slightly. Raising her eyebrows slightly, Faith let out a suppressed sigh, “I don’t know if there’s really anything to say… Or if you’d actually want to hear about it, to tell you the truth… I think I’ve whined so much about it already, people are starting to wish I hadn’t come back,” she said in a light tone, her humor dryer than ever.

As Rayne settled down beside her, Faith looked out towards the lake, gathering her thoughts together as she watched the calm water. Feeling Rayne’s hand running through her hair, Faith smiled faintly, her azure eyes moving towards the other lycaness. Now being hugged close to Rayne, Faith crumbled down and pulled herself closer to the newly turned-redhead, “It’s just… So hard, y’know… To… Actually care enough to want to be healthy…”

Wiping at her eyes as a few tears began to escape, but was failing, “S-she… We… Well… We were supposed to get married, y’know… I devoted myself to her… And… I just don’t know what to do with myself without her,” she confessed, the shame evident in her voice.

[Rayne]

“Of course I want to hear what happened, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to listen… No one wishes you hadn’t come back, everyone’s glad you’re alive again..” she said, her tone comforting. Keeping her arm around her, she listened to her words, furrowing her brows. So it was a person who had hurt Faith. But who was the elusive ‘she’ that Fai-fai mentioned?

Straining her memory, she tried to recall the bits of information she’d heard of the blond lycaness. She seemed to recall hearing her name tied to that of a human girl, something about her falling for said human, and getting engaged. But what was her name? Sarah.. no, that’s not it.. Sheila, nope, Serena, no, Serenity.. that’s the one..

“You were Faith before meeting Serenity, and you’ll continuing being the real you from now on” she stated, her voice giving no way for arguments. Shifting Faith more comfortably in her arms, she gently leaned the other girl’s head on her shoulder, running her hand through her golden locks soothingly.

“You can’t stop living life just because you don’t have her anymore… if she was too stupid to realize how good she had it, then that’s on her.. but don’t you dare give up on life and turn into some kind of zombie-drone..” she said, a scowl curling her lips.

[†Faith Winters†]

Closing her eyes, Faith absorbed the words spoken to her; they were a mouth-full, that was for sure. Her mind swam with thoughts, trying to decide upon what was really the truth. And as if all of a sudden, Faith could see the light. Things started to clear in her mind. So fast it seemed to happen, for something she had waited so long for.

Relaxing against the other lycaness, Faith now focused on the feeling of Rayne’s hand running through her hair, parting her lips, Faith tried to force words out, but was failing against the parched feeling in her throat that she finally took notice to. Clearing her throat and swallowing a few times, Faith nodded slightly, “You’re right… I was me before, I can be me now… I guess I’ve just kind of lost sight of that…” A thoughtful expression appeared on her features, for once looking as if she was actually thinking, not as if she was lost some place else.

The pain from her loss still coursed through her veins, but it felt like it had lessened a rather large amount, she felt as if she could go on living now, like it would stop hurting if she did. It was odd how just a few wise words could change things.

A smile tugged at Faiths pale lips, a small chuckle escaping forth, “A zombie-drone?” she asked playfully, almost in disbelief that it had even came out of Rayne’s mouth. Hearing a loud grumble, Faith frowned deeply, before looking down at her stomach, “Wow, and it lives again,” she muttered, raising her eyebrows.

[Rayne]

"Aww, how 'bout I get you some food..?" she said, squeezing the other lycaness' gently. Releasing her slowly, she stood to her feet, shifting forms easily. Growling playfully, she sent I'll be back, and dashed away into the thick trees of the forest.

It seemed nearly a half hour passed before the snow-white wolf bounded back out of the thicket, two pairs of plump squirrels hanging from her furry muzzle. Snatching at the bloody animals with her claws, she reared up on her hind legs, shifting back into human form a few feet away from Faith. Other than some twigs and leaves stuck in her hair, and slightly dishiveled clothes, she didn't appear to have roughed it too much in her little mini-hunt.

Kneeling on the ground, she dropped the animals in a pile, dipping her hands in the lake's cool water to wash off the blood. Waving them around so they could dry, she crawled over to Faith, smiling hesitantly. Motioning towards the 'meal' she said "I don't know if you like them just like that, but if you'd rather have 'em cooked I can start a small fire to roast them over."

[†Faith Winters†]

Opening her mouth to speak, Faith watched as Rayne got to her feet and changed forms. Mouth still hanging open, the small blonde watched as the other lycaness ran off into the forest. Frowning her brow slightly, she finally closed her mouth. Leaning back against the tree, her cobalt eyes closed, and thoughts began to move around in her head at a steady pace.

The slight blonde had been drifting between the dream world and reality; her lack of sleep starting to catch up to her. She sensed the white-furred wolf as soon as she reached the edge of the forest, so she sat up straight and let out a lazy yawn.

Smiling sweetly as Rayne washed her hands off, Faith tilted her head to the side, now examining the squirrels with an odd look on her face. Slowly pulling herself to her feet, Faith strolled over to stand next to Rayne. Smiling sweetly still, Faith pulled a few twigs from the other girls hair gently, while speaking, “It doesn’t really matter to me, which do you prefer?”

Walking over to where the squirrels were, Faith stared at them for a moment, before changing forms. Circling around them, the light-furred lycaness took a seat next to them. She was still undecided about this; she had never really been one for hunting, although if she got the urge, she would go until she was fine once more.

[Rayne]

"Either way works for me, but somehow I think you'd like the squirrels better if they were cooked.." she said, her own lips curving into a half-smile. Moving closer to the carcasses (sp?), she entended two long nails, easily skinning hte dead animals, removing all patches of fur. Standing again, she yanked branches from a nearby tree, choosing long and sharp ones. Shoving them together, she pierced them through the animals, creating a make shift roasting pit. Pulling a slim, shiney Zippo lighter, she lit a small fire beneath the animals, close enough to cook them quickly, but not close enough to burn 'em.

Pulling out a carton box from her pocket, she took out a cigarrette, placing it between her lips. Cupping her hands around it, she flipped open the Zippo again and lit the end, inhaling as a burst of red appeared on the tip. Taking the cigarrette from her lips, she exhaled, releasing a puff of acrid smoke. It was bad habit she'd picked up when she was in her early teens, she'd managed to shake it off in later years, but lately the cravings for nicotine had been too strong. Too much stress had pushed her to pick up the habit again.

"So tell me about you, your past before arrived at Magic Horizons.." she said, puffing on the cigarrette again while she waited for the squirrels to finish cooking through. Prodding the meal with a finger, she felt the tender, medium-rare meat. She figured it was cooked enough, and was also still juicy, so she knocked the branches down, using the animals to put out the small fire while putting out her cigarrette. Breaking the long branch that pierced the squirrels, she handed one side- which had two squirrels hanging limply from it- to Faith, motioning for her to start eating.

[†Faith Winters†]

The slight blonde had averted her gaze as Rayne started to prepare the squirrels, images of herself and her big sister watching little squirrels play when they were only kids flashing through her mind. Shaking the thoughts from her head, Faith now watched intently as Rayne started the fire and such.; the last time she had killed and eaten an animal, she had nearly burned the forest down trying to cook it. She never was one for controlling a fire.

Morphing back into human form, Faith streched out, causing a loud crack sound to come from her back. A lazy smile fell on her lips at the feeling of her back cracking. Oh it was nice.

A frown caressed her brow as Rayne pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, “Those’ll kill you, y’know…” Watching as a puff of smoke rose into the air, Faith reached over and skillfully stole the cigarette, taking a puff off it, then handing it back to Rayne. Slowly letting the smoke slid between her lips and escape her mouth, Faith closed her eyes slightly, enjoying it.

Cobalt eyes now went wide as she was asked a question. Clearing her throat, Faith shrugged her shoulders slightly, “Uhm… Not much to tell, really… Had a fairly good relationship with my mom and dad, have two sisters, one is 4, and one is now dead… Oh, and a half sister… And that about sums it up… What about you? Care to share? I’d love to hear about everything,” She said with a delicate smile.

Excepting the now cooked food, Faith smiled more widely now; they looked a hell of a lot more appetizing now. “Thank you…” she said in a grateful tone, before biting off a mouthful.

[Rayne]

Taking a bite of the squirrel as well, she chewed thoughtfully, considering her answer. Not too long ago she wouldn't have been able to answer any questions about her past, somehow she would have preferred that much more. Some times not knowing was better, less painful; this was one of those times.

Swallowing, she averted her gaze, saying "There's not much to tell.."

She didn't want to talk about her past, not because she didn't feel like she could confide in Faith, but because she'd rather avoid the issue of her past. And she was ashamed about it as well. How could she say that her father had sold her when she was just a child, got rid of her because she hadn't been good enough to earn his love, or atleast his respect? And all the events after her sale were still too painful to talk about; the happy days with the man who had bought her and his pack, and then the horrible ending for them all.

No, she couldn't answer any questions yet. Blinking back the tears that had sprung to her eyes, she pushed aside her food, and pulled out another cigarrette. Lighting it, she breathed in deep, filling her lungs with it's toxic smoke, enjoying the bitter taste that clung to her tongue. Exhaling, she puffed the smoke out in three rings.

[†Faith Winters†]

Furrowing her brow, Faith watched silently as Rayne seemed to drift into thought. Realizing she wasn’t going to get more of an answer then she had already received, Faith took another bite of the meat she now found to be delicious; go figure. Waiting for Rayne to drift back to reality, the slight blonde silently ate.

Seeing tears swell up in Rayne’s eyes, despite her best effort to push them back, caused Faith to choke slightly on her food. Coughing a few times, Faith was about to say something, when she realized had Rayne of wanted her to know, she would have told her. Lowering her head slightly, she proceeded to take another bite.

As the other woman pulled out another cigarette, Faith frowned deeply, but again, said nothing. Nearly half-done her meal now, Faith cleared her throat, “So.. How long have you been here, then? I don’t think I have ever really asked you… Actually, I don’t believe we’ve actually ever spoken one-on-one for that matter,” she stated, looking towards the sky in thought as she spoke.

The sun was rising higher and higher into the sky, making it warmer and brighter out; nearly to bright. Squinting slightly, the slender blonde watched an eagle flying as she awaited Rayne’s reply.

[†Faith Winters†]

Ooc: ... -Pokes Ray-ray- o.O

[Rayne]

"Hmm.. about a year, give or take a few weeks.." she answered after a few moments thought. She couldn't remember the exact date, only the state in which she'd come. And why. Searching for answers to questions, questions she no longer needed to ask. "What about you, you've been here for a while now, right?"

Tapping the side of the cigarette idly, she watched the bits of ash float to the grass, rummaging her mind for anything she'd heard about the blond lycaness. A sister, human, who looked very much like her, with the exception of the eyes. Coal versus Cobalt. Trying to engage in small talk, something she hadn't done in a long while, she asked "You have a sister, yeah? Just met her for the first time not too long ago?"


ooc: Tis bad >< O.o No time, I'll make my next one better, I swear...