Breaking down

[Hayzie]

Soon, it will be time to choose between what is easy and what is right...

Hayzie Roberts, newly instated Head Girl of Magic Horizons was probably well known for taking the easy way out, much to her own personal disgrace, and as much as she had tried to do something about it, the easy way came to her all the time. And it was likely that was why she had made the appointment.

Hayz had made an appointment with Wilting Rose almost as soon as she had been released from the captivity of Fenris Fenrir. In a way, the blonde was grateful Angelus Morti hadn't shown up, but it meant Talon was still there. Amy, she had seen at the Christmas Ball, but Talon was still a no show. Aylen, too, it seemed had fallen into his hands, or so they could guess.

Sighing in confusion as she reached the Headmistresses tower, green eyes scanned the door. Was she sure this was the right thing to do? Or was it simply another easy way out?

Knowing that it was impossible to back out of the appointment now, Hayzie took one shaky breath. Doubt was something she could not allow at that moment. "Just go in, tell her, and it'll all be over," Hayz told herself, trying to calm down. There was no way the blonde could hold out much longer before she felt worse than she did already.

Knocking on the door, Hayz breathed slowly. Hopefully, she was going the see the light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully this was her chance to get out while she still could.

[Wilting Rose]

Wilting Rose was lying on her bed. Just lying. Her rainbow gaze turned outward to the endless grey skies of January, she realised just how much she hated this season. It was so easy to forget who you were and what you lived for when all you were ever faced with was grey...

A knock on the Tower door stirred Rose from her thoughtful reverie. She sat up, and pushed her curls back into place. Smoothing down her robes, she walked over, remembering her appointment with Hayzie was today. She had had a bad feeling in her gut about this meeting, but she decided not to put defences up immediately but to wait and see what the Head Girl thought important enough to bring directly to her attention.

She opened the door, and smiled at the blond Gryffindor. "Hello Hayzie, please come in."

She left the door open and took her usual place at her beautiful mahogany writing desk, and waited for Hayzie to follow suit.

[Hayzie]

Despite knowing it was going to happen, Hayzie still jumped as the door opened and the rainbow eyed woman opened it wide enough to allow her wheelchair through. Offering the Headmistress a somewhat nervous smile, the blonde wheeled herself in. Even though she was using a Hovermatic now, the controls were still beyond her.

Closing the door gently using her wand, the blonde girl turned back to Rose, suddenly unsure of what to say. Kiki had always noticed her small-talk before something bigger, as had Sealla. It wouldn't surprise her if it was known through the whole school by now, and yet she could think of no small talk to use at all. It was simply getting to the point.

Stopping her chair in front of the mahogany table, Hayzie looked down at her knees for a few moments. This was even more nerve wrecking than facing Rikka or the mermaid or even the Centaur back in the summer. "I..." Hayz started. She had got it all planned out in her head earlier, but now it all seemed to have gone. "I'm sorry for bothering you Professor, and I promise I'm not in trouble this time around... not from classes anyway," the blonde girl rambled, her words somewhat stumbling over one another.

"But the thing is..." she breathed, looking up with pain-filled eyes. "I want to leave the magical world.. for good..."

It felt strange, knowing that so soon after becoming a Prefect she had wanted to leave, and now in the same space of time since becoming Head Girl, Hayzie was expressing the same wish once again. Pressure wasn't something she adjusted to quickly.

[Wilting Rose]

Wilting Rose froze in her seat. Hayzie Roberts... wanted to leave the magical world? For good?!

Rose swallowed, knowing that she was now in a difficult position. She glanced at Hayzie, confined to her wheelchair, and realised that, after all the girl had been through, she really couldn't blame her for wanting out of the magical world. But what to do now? Convince the girl to stay, or let her go with good grace? She really wasn't on friendly enough terms with the girl to have good enough reason to beg her to stay...

Rose cleared her throat, clasping her hands together in her lap. "Well, that's certainly not what I was expecting," she said with a slight smile. "If you don't mind, I think we may be here a while..." She conjured up a pot of tea with her wand. "Would you like a drink?"

She glanced back at Hayzie. "Do you mind telling me how you came to this decision?"

[Hayzie]

"I don't think it's what anyone would expect to hear," Hayzie mumbled, knowing it was true. She hadn't spoken to any of her friends about it, but put on a happy-go-lucky front to let them think she was okay, to let them think she was strong enough to deal with it on her own. Hardly anyone knew the true story of how she ended up in her wheelchair, but only from rumours, none of which were correct at all.

And to think, it was all because of a student who had left not long after the incident.

"Yes, please," Hayzie replied at the offer of a drink, it was true that they would likely be there for a while, longer than the blonde had expected at least. The Headmistress wanted to know how she came to the decision. "Well, it's been a long time in coming," the girl admitted, looking down at her hands which were fiddling with the bottom of her tie.

"It all began the day I got my letter... my sister, Maria... well I got into an arguement with my parents.. and during it, there was a green light, I've got no idea where it came from, but I think it came from me... and when it left, Maria was dead on the floor..." Hayzie began, her voice evidently choking up as she spoke of her sister. It was a miracle how she didn't know until that day of the wizarding world at all considering both her brother and sister had attended Magic schools.

"Then, when I got here, my parents disowned me, and I thought maybe it would get better from there on out. But no, when I got here it all started with the Lycans," Hayz began, trying to control the fiddling as much as possible. "I was trying to stop the war, stupid, I know that now, but back then... two years ago almost, I thought it was the sensible thing to do. Apparently not. One day, I was in the forest, and overheard a conversation between Chailyn, Rikka and Ash. It all somewhat went from there.

"The next day, Artemis and I began making the polyjuice potion in the Prefect's Bathroom," Here, the blonde stopped for a moment, looking guiltily up at the woman before her. That had to be the biggest school rule she had ever broken, and it was a miracle it went right considering her lack of ability in potions. Thank the Lord for Artemis. "So after twenty one days, we put a piece of Chailyn's hair in there, and I went into the forest to try and convince them to stop the war as Chailyn. It was that day, my hand got bitten off and I became a Lycan."

Just repeating the events had brought tears of frustration, hurt and anger to Hayzie's eyes. "Then for the next few months or so, Rikka kept me in captivity in the forest, and I tried to sneak out as much as possible without her knowing to see my friends, and try and keep what had happened from my closest friends. Adhara never found out, though... I know how much she dislikes them... so it was for the best. Talon didn't know until recently... Kelly knew the most..." Hayz said slowly, trying to remember who knew what.

"Then one day in the Graveyard Rikka tried to kill me, and told me if I tried to run off, then she would follow through with it... Luckily after a while, she grew annoyed of me, and let me go..." There was a happyish ending to it all, after all, and in a way, it felt good to tell someone the whole story of what had happened in the forest.

But there was more.

"After that, I went to go and see Kiki... she helped me find a cure for the Lycan bite and we decided to set to work on finding the ingredients. Three hairs from a troll's ear, a hair from my Lycan form and human form, blood from Rikka, water from a mer-person's cave, a flower from a Centaur's garden and a plant from an elven forest. It was all madness," Hayzie confided, shaking her head. "Being half mermaid and half Lycan is no fun at all. But during that time, I had a run in with S...Sealla," the blonde stuttered, wondering if allowing the story out into the open was the best thing to do. "I'd gone into the forest to try and get another student out... it was the second time in days she had gone in there. But it didn't quite go to plan. Sealla all but killed me that day... I had burns, shattered knees, broken ribs, jutting out collar bone and no nerves or muscles left in my legs. That's why I'm in this now, but hardly anyone knows," the girl carried on, fiddling with her robes once again.

"But after that, I decided I had to go through with it and hopefully get a normal life back, a human life back. So, I went to a room at the Ministry Kiki had let me use and brewed the potion to turn me back.. needless to say it went wrong, and for a few moments I ended up dead on a bed at St. Mungo's... but..." What she said next, Hayz knew, was going to sound stupid, but it was true... "But an angel told me I deserved a second chance. And when I saw Talon, Adhara and the others there, I appreciated life so much more."

It was true, now she looked back on it. After all, since becoming human again, it was unlike Hayz to run off into forests almost looking for trouble. Now, it just found her instead.

"But since then, more things have happened. Especially Angelus Morti at the moment. Two of my friends are still with him, and he's not going to stop there. Fenris Fenrir, one of the Lycans kidnapped Am-Professor Stevens from her class, and somehow Ta-Professor Windwaltz is down there, too, and so is Aylen, but I can't see anything we can do to help." Hayzie stopped again, frustration apparently getting the better of her as it had done in the Entrance Hall the day before. "I was captured by Fenris a few weeks ago, but let go quickly considering Morti was a no show, but... something's going on, and before long, I think the whole school is going to know, but not live very long to see it."

There was more to tell, but Hayz didn't have the strength to go through it all just then. The blonde girl felt drained of almost everything. Putting her head in her hands, Hayzie fought back tears which longed to fall, tears which brought all of her emotions together in to one. Fear.

"I can't stay here any more, Professor... I can't do it... it's too much... and I've started snapping at my friends... and I'm behind with my work..goodness knows how I'm going to pass my NEWTS, and I mean, I love all my friends to pieces, and it's me being selfish, I know... I mean, maybe if I spoke to Ki-the Ministress she would let me keep my job as a janitor at the Ministry until I find something in the Muggle world... I could work twenty four hours seeing as I'd have nowhere to go, but Professor, I can't stay here any more. I have to go."

With those final words, the tears fell out of her eyes and into her hands. It was likely the snap had been long overdue, but now it was here, Hayzie didn't like it at all, but didn't have the ability to exercise the self-control to glue the band back together.

[Wilting Rose]

Wilting Rose was absolutely speechless. She had absolutely no idea what to say. Now she really knew there was no point in trying to console or comfort the girl... for one so young, she had seen so much, been through too much. Was Rose really going to take the girl's hand and beg her to stay, after hearing all that?

Rose sighed shakily. "Well... I can certainly understand your point of view," she admitted, stirring her tea with a small silver spoon before taking a sip. Her rainbow eyes were fixed upon the sobbing girl, the soft colours within them dipping and swirling slowly as they tried to think of a solution to end Hayzie's misery.

"Well, I'm not certain how to advise you, Hayzie, and I'm not even sure that I can," said Rose softly. The Headmistress's voice was tinged with sadness and regret. "You seem to have made your mind up as to what you need to do, and though your departure would be a massive loss to the school, I have nothing I can say or do to stop you. I do respect the fact that you came to talk to me first, though." Rose smiled slightly. "So many students wander back out of these doors without explanation, goodbye or thankyou... I'd expected too much, perhaps. But no, you exceed all expectations."

Rose smiled and got up, and walked over to a table that had a purple cloth shielding something from sight. Delicately, Rose removed it, revealing a large crystal ball underneath. Unlike the ones the students used for Divination class, which were the cheap, clear crystal balls, this one had cracks and flaws hidden deep within it - only the outside was smooth and shiny.

"It's a difficult choice, knowing what is to come, especially when you are about to make a life-changing decision," said Rose, whilst her rainbow eyes were gazing with fierce intensity into the ball. "Many people would go back and make a different choice if they knew what was to come on either side of their decision."

Suddenly, Rose sighed, and placed the sheet back over the ball, looking towards Hayzie once more. "The future is unclear. More unclear than it has ever been. How frustrating. Listen, Hayzie," Rose came and sat before the girl once more, and took the girl's hand. "I think I am sensing that you feel a little trapped here - you're taking the only way out that you know of. I... know of others. There are things I could do for you to make your life a little more comfortable here, if you wish to know of them. If you still wish to leave us, then I will persue this avenue no longer... but I think I could help you."

Rose paused, wondering herself if she was making the right choice in even making this offer. "What do you think?"

[Hayzie]

Trapped… was that the right word for how she was feeling? At that moment, it was probably the most accurate description Hayzie had of how she felt. It felt as though she couldn’t escape, that there wasn’t a day that passed without some sort of trouble arising. Even Christmas Day hadn’t gone by without a disturbance. For the past month she had felt the four walls closing in, claustrophobia taking over and leaving the blonde panicked, having to keep her eyes open everywhere she went and almost cutting her friends out completely.

Rose was right. Hayz was trying to take the only way out she knew of; the only way she could see working at the end of the day. If she left, the walls may open up once again and allow the fun-loving girl to take the place of the claustrophobic mouse. Yet the Headmistress was saying there were other ways out; ways out which would mean Hayzie would not have to leave behind her friends, everything she had known for the past few years, and more importantly… her home.

Lifting her watery green eyes to look into calming rainbow ones. There was something which meant she wouldn’t have to wonder the streets until she raised enough money for a flat of her own? “There’s a way, Professor?” Hayz’s choked and strained voice asked. If there was a way for her to deal with everything better than she had been, the blonde would take it.

And now came her turn. What did she think? Was it possible for her to accept after announcing only a few minutes previous that she wanted to leave the magical world for good? Would it seem overly fickle? Would she be considered to be a sympathy or attention seeker? How Hayzie hoped not. She was neither of those things, but simply confused. For the first time in a long while the blonde felt like a child in need of comfort, for once, Hayzie Roberts wanted to be looked after, told everything would be okay… even if her instincts told her better.

Keeping her gaze fixed on a piece of wall behind the Headmistress, Hayzie’s only reply was a silent nod.

[Wilting Rose]

Wilting Rose smiled gently. She knew that this wasn't a sign of defeat; this was a lost and lonely girl trying to find her way again. And if Hayzie didn't like any of the options that Rose gave her, then she could go back to her original plan and work at the Ministry.

"Just hear me out, Hayzie. You don't have to agree to anything if you don't want to."

Rose paused, and took a deep breath, exhaling softly. She was about to offer a lot to the girl, and was unsure whether it would be profitable to either of them. But it was possible. "I was thinking that you could stay here, in the castle. But not as a student. I... have a lot of errands that need running, aswell as someone I can trust to help oversee the school. I'm suggesting that you could become my assistant for a little while. We could easily defer your place in school for a year so you can take this year out and begin again next year - if you're ready, of course. It wouldn't involve too much work or stress - I lead a pretty quiet life, kidnapping and memory-stealing aside."

Rose smiled, feeling rather hesitant about offering this to Hayzie. Perhaps she wouldn't want this. Perhaps she'd rather make her own way in the world. "If you'd rather not, I would understand. But we could set up your own room within the Head's Tower, you could live here and see your friends as and when you like. The only small print of this deal is that if I ask a favour, you do it, no questions asked. What do you think?"

[Hayzie]

Hayzie's eyes widened with an emotion she couldn't quite put her finger on. The Headmistress was willing to do that for her? Defer her last year and keep her at the school as an assistant? Maybe a break was what she needed, a quiet life for a little while to get herself back on her feet, so to speak.

The only condition was that she did favours when asked and helped out where she could. The best part? She didn't have to leave.

The first genuine smile Hayzie had given in many weeks became quickly apparent on her pale face, which was beginning to slowly regain some colour. She didn't have to leave. "I think that would be great," the blonde girl replied quietly, her voice still shaken.

Now she knew what that emotion was. Gratitude.

[Wilting Rose]

Rose smiled and clasped her hands together. "Perfect!" she exclaimed, delighted.

"Well, you don't have to stick around here if you don't want to... I'm sure everyone will be thrilled to know you're not leaving them for good. I know I certainly am. There's more I want to talk to you about... concerning your health and wellbeing - but that can wait until later if you have other placed to be. I'm just glad we could come to this arrangement."

Rose grinned. It would be wonderful, having Hayzie around to help her and keep her company!

[Hayzie]

I'd tell them if they knew Hayzie thought to herself, though the smile sticking on her face like glue. Even when Rose explained that they were going to have to talk more, the smile didn't disappear, and some of the shine began to return to her eyes. There was a way out which didn't involve leaving for good. She could stay.

"Thank you, Professor," Hayzie almost whispered, her voice more alive than it had been in an age, too. "I promise I won't let you down."

It was going to be a new start, hopefully one of many. Drying away a few stray tears which had stuck to her cheeks, the blonde knew she hadn't been more relieved in a long time. Now, finding Adhara could be a good idea. It had been a while since the two of them had sat down and chatted properly. And maybe it was time that Hayzie began opening up to those who had stuck by her through everything and confiding her true feelings into them rather than leaving them to build up.

Maybe Hayzie Roberts would be a new person by September.